Today I dined in a restaurant for luncheon.
This girl behind me was telling a story to her friend, and three times, she said, "...and it was all fwoom, like that?"
To clarify: she was not repeating one part of her story. There were three instances of something going "fwoom," like that, in one 90-second span of her story.
I need to tell better stories.
Later, I relaxed in a park.
This guy came up to me and was all, "Hello," so I was all, "How are you?" And then he was all... pause... "Thank you! I'm good!"
You know that pause they give you to let you know they are really thanking you for really caring about how they are? That one.
So then you know what he did next? He invited me to a bible study. And you know how I should have known all along he was going to do that, even before his pause of sincerity? Because he was all Orel Hershiser-looking! What is it with super-Christians and their big, plain faces? Tell them to quit it.
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